One of my wonderful clients made a great analogy between how differently we approach exercising than we do eating a meal. She said that sometimes we only have time to grab something quick, when we are on the go, as a meal. She pointed out that this strategy is acceptable to us for eating but not for exercising. Her point is very insightful and I want to expand upon it below.
Most busy women would never consider the concept that they have to cook an elaborate dish for EVERY meal. Why? Because we don’t have time to have our meals always be elaborate and great. We know that depending upon any given day and time, our eating strategies have to change. In general, we probably do have specific strategies we use for our and our family’s meals. However, we know that our meal plans can “go out of the window” at any point, and we’ll just have to improvise and often eat to a “lower standard” than we want and/or had planned to.
In contrast, many of us don’t give ourselves the same leeway for exercising as we do eating! We make exercise plans and goals that we feel we need to rigidly follow. We don’t give ourselves many options or give ourselves permission to be flexible with our exercise plans. So, when “life happens”, as it always does, most of us do not improvise with our physical activity/exercise plans, like we do with eating. The result of this rigid approach (e.g., one that does not permit improvisation or flexibility) is that we wind up not doing ANY physical activity. (We’d starve if we did this with eating.)
However, most people would benefit by developing a mindset about exercising that parallels their mindset about eating. We should have general strategies and goals for being physically active, but similar to eating, have flexibility, back-up options, and/or strategies. Similar to grabbing a liquid meal or hunk of cheese when we don’t have time for our planned sit down meal, when time is tight, and we can’t do our planned exercise session, let’s improvise and figure out the “next best” thing. It could be parking further away for your meeting, getting off the train 1-2 stops earlier, or asking a friend to walk after dinner. Whether it is later that day, the next day, or a “lower standard” of physical activity (is there really such a thing?!), give yourself the same permission to improvise with physical activity as you do with food. Follow this M. Segar recipe and you’ll have consistent on-going physical activity in your life!
Footnote: It is interesting that eating is considered by many to be “essential” to living our best lives, and exercise isn’t. Yet, having a more flexible approach seems to accompany eating more than with exercising. Why are people more flexible with the behavior that is, for the most part, considered more essential to living?
Hi Michelle!
This isn’t directly related to your post but, as I’m about to embark (once again) upon a healthier eating plan, I’ve been wondering about something. I find myself much more motivated to lose weight for an “event” (as in, want to get skinnier for a certain event, or, the “high school reunion” syndrome) as opposed to wanting to do it for my own health. Both goals work for me in the short term but I would imagine doing it for health is a longer lasting solution. But how to make that the motivation, the mindset as opposed to the shallower reasons some of us have? Would love to hear your opinion!
Hi Elaine,
I’m glad you posted a comment, even if it is different than the exact topic. Your question is a good one!
Your reason to lose weight for your upcoming event is a valid reason to lose weight. The question is, what do you do AFTER the event? What will motivate you to sustain your healthier behavior AFTERWARDS? The first question is did you DRASTICALLY alter your eating and exercise to the extreme? If you did, you are not likely to maintain those behavior for long, and it probably wouldn’t be healthy anyways.
If I were you, I’d recognize that short term frenzied weight loss efforts will not work in the LONG RUN. (You probably have a lot of past experiences testifying to this.) Ask yourself, which is more important to you, losing weight for an event that you are likely to gain back following it, or losing weight for the rest of your life, and know that you won’t be as thin for your event?
Based on your answer you will develop a strategy of action. If you chose the former, well, I’m sure you have an arsenal of short-term weight loss recipes (most women have tried a ton by midlife).
Endorsing the latter option means you have to find a common sense eating plan and/or make sure you get regular physical activity. (I personally like Weight Watchers and I’m intrigued by parts of the Beck Diet Solution. This book helps women change their mindset about eating, which is what I help women do related to exercise and self-care.) I have found that it can help women to start with ONE weight loss behavior only, and learn how to do it well and make it a positive behavior in one’s life for 6 months to 1 year before working on integrating the other one. Anecdotally, my clients have told me that after they learned to make exercise a positive and consistent part of their lives for a significant period of time, they were ready to work on the other part of losing weight, dietary changes. They found changing their eating habits to be much easier, they lost weight, and kept it off. Motivationally, changing dietary habit and starting to exercise at the same time doesn’t make sense to me. And the research following the long-term success of diets (most all of which include dieting and exercise) do NOT lead to long-term maintenance of any weight lost. Given these data and the motivational theory why not try a different strategy?
It is important for people to know what diet trumps exercise for losing weight, but exercise is ESSENTIAL for maintaining weight loss. So, here’s my two cents for creating weight loss you can sustain for the rest of your life. Learn the ONE behavior well for 6 months to one year. I think exercise is the best one for many women but only you can know which one would be best for you to focus on first. THEN after you are comfortable and confident with that behavior. Start learning the second one. It should be easier cognitively and emotionally to only focus strongly one learning one at a time. If you have 40 to 50 years you’d like to maintain your weight loss for, why not invest 1-2 years into learning the best way to do it, instead of some frenzied instant gratification approach that you’ve learned many many times doesn’t work long-term.
Good luck! Stay in touch and let me know how things go for you.
Sincerely,
Michelle
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