I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Every time we pick the Joy Choice — the perfect imperfect option that lets us do something instead of nothing — we are not just making a momentary decision that supports our greater intentional eating or exercise goals. We are actualizing who we truly are.
So I could not be more excited to report that newly published research – in six studies and among 3,000 people – from renowned social psychologist Robert J. Vallerand supports this big idea big time!
Vallerand studies what he terms passion and persistence, and his new study conducted with his colleagues is both fascinating and exciting. In this new science, they propose the existence of two types of persistence: rigid and flexible. Whereas they found that both types of persistence can lead to positive outcomes within an activity of focus, only flexible persistence also leads to adaptive outcomes in other areas of one’s life.
Simply put, in this study, rigid persistence* – striving toward a singular goal to the exclusion of everything else – appears to bring people toward their goals. But it came at the expense of our other life areas.
In contrast, flexible persistence goes with the flow, allowing the rest of your life – the people and things you care most about – to exist harmoniously with your important behavioral pursuit, while still achieving the focus goal.
While Vallerand’s study wasn’t focused on how people adopt and sustain a lifestyle behavior, as a sustainable-change scientist and trainer (with a focus on exercising), “flexible persistence” (his term) is what I’ve seen work among individuals for decades.
Exercise has traditionally been accompanied by a prescriptive mindset within science, health care, and gyms, so when people first learn about the value of flexible pursuit, they find it counter-intuitive (and even dangerous) — despite the rigid alternative never having worked for most people across our history.
Yet, after I explain the science underlying the value of flexibility for creating more sustainable approaches to exercising — with individuals, organizations, and professionals, — everyone gets it.
They get it because the evidence underlying this idea matters. But they also get it because the principle of flexible persistence, which has become a hot topic, simply reflects the way we live the rest our lives.
Whether we are parenting, partnering, working, or adult-childing, we naturally make schedule adjustments to accommodate these important life arenas. In other words, when we need to, we quickly pivot and change course without giving the flexibility we just enacted any thought.
I couldn’t be more excited to share this new science with you. And I predict we’ll continue to see similar study findings across many behavioral and life areas showing that flexibility beats out trying to “do it right” when circumstances mandate.
Believe it: The perfect imperfect option, what I call the joy choice, isn’t just the easy or effortless choice: It’s the strategy and tactic that will enable you to maintain momentum in your healthy goals while still maintaining a harmonious balance with the people and projects that mean most to you. And that’s a formula for health and happiness.
*It is important to note that in contrast to Vallerand’s study, research on exercise and eating, per se, generally does not find rigid persistence to be helpful compared to flexible pursuit when it comes to behavioral decision making.
Books to help you cultivate flexibility and a harmonious life
Do you find yourself breathing a little more freely as you read about this cutting-edge science? Below are three books (2 brand new!) that embrace a similar philosophy.
MoneyZen: The Secret to Finding Your “Enough” by Manisha Thakor. This leading financial guru breaks down the personal, cultural, and societal forces that have led us to rigid thinking about what’s enough and shows us a fresh, joy-based, harmonious path toward “MoneyZen,” a life rich in both financial health and emotional wealth using moving stories and science.
Master of Change: How to Excel When Everything Is Changing — Including You by Brad Stulberg. A revelatory book on rethinking change and creating a rugged and flexible mindset amidst life’s intensifying flux, from the expert on sustainable excellence, coach, recently named a “National Bestseller”.
The Joy Choice: How to Finally Achieve Lasting Changes in Eating and Exercise by Michelle Segar. The Joy Choice helps readers change their mindset about exercise and eating so they can joyfully stay consistent with their goals without compromising their attention and energy for the meaningful people and demands in their lives. Named “One of the best health books experts read in 2022” by The Washington Post.
This blog post was initially published: Segar, M. Harmonize Your Life Through Flexibility. Psychology Today (September 19, 2023).