This piece was co-written by myself and Alison L. Miller.
It’s February 2nd — even though you committed to exercising five days a week and getting it finally right — those New Year’s resolutions are already long gone. It’s Groundhog Day – again.
Why are we (or the people we work with) stuck in the same vicious cycle of failure with exercise and eating that is our own Groundhog Day? There’s a good reason so many people identify with the 30-year-old movie in which Bill Murray’s unhappy weather forecaster Phil relives the same day over and over due to pursuing the same misguided intentions.
As observers, we know that if Phil keeps approaching his day in the same way, he’ll never escape Groundhog Day. Yet, ironically, we do the same thing when it comes to trying to eat better and exercise more.
Whether it’s New Year resolutions or a health scare, when we decide to start fresh with better eating or exercise, we say to ourselves “This time, I’m going to get it right.”
But, similar to Phil’s predicament, it’s our own core intention to get it “right”, through following the prescription or program exactly, that keeps us stuck in our own eating and exercise Groundhog Day; decades of starting and stopping, starting and stopping, but never sustaining.
While some of us don’t actually have many choices because of limited outside safe spaces or healthy food sources, for those of us who do, this perfectionistic mindset is not only a surefire recipe for disappointment and feeling like failures, it’s the very thing that keeps us stuck year in and year out.
With every fresh start, we begin with the same intention to get it exactly right. This unfortunate mindset is a formal cognitive distortion called all-or-nothing thinking. Its persistence in our minds is not our fault because it’s a result of having internalized decades of messages telling us that there is a right way to exercise and eat better by society: researchers, health care providers, trainers, Influencers, marketers, and the media.
And it’s time to change all that.
Think about it: How can we expect our exercise routine or eating to be perfect when they must survive within our inevitably imperfect lives?
We don’t hold the same grandiose expectations for the other areas of our lives: When it comes to raising our kids, dealing with work issues, or coping with weather emergencies, we automatically use the flexible thinking that lets us pivot and adjust our plans when needed. We recognize that we have no choice but to do what we can when we can. And it is this flexible mindset and resilience that keeps us moving forward in spite of unexpected challenges.
Yet when it comes to eating and exercise, we do not apply that same wisdom: we believe we have to be perfect.
We don’t.
The truth is that successfully incorporating complex behaviors like healthy eating and exercise into our busy lives requires the same intention and tactics we already use to navigate the rest of our messy, beautiful lives.
In the movie, Phil was forced to relive the same day over and over even after making different choices. It wasn’t until he fundamentally changed his core intention that he woke up on February 3rd, and finally escaped his personal Groundhog Day.
We and our patients, clients, consumers, and employees, can escape our own eating and exercise Groundhog Day by doing something similar.
If doing it “right” keeps us stuck, then rejecting this unachievable aspiration liberates us to be active and eat in ways that better sets us up for sustainability.
We are complex beings living in a complex world. Healthy eating and physical movement are just two elements of the whole of our lives. While counterintuitive, when we give ourselves the same grace to be imperfect with eating and exercise as we do with other areas of our lives, a world of possibility opens.
The fundamental change in thinking many of us need is to replace a right way with any way; we need to believe that with eating and exercise “something is better than nothing.”
No perfect healthy eating options at that work lunch? Then make the perfectly imperfect choice that you will feel best about under these circumstances.
Can’t make it to the gym for your hour class? Walk outside for 13 minutes.
This transformation in thinking may seem simplistic. But it is actually profound. It cultivates the resilience and flexibility we need to keep moving forward toward our overarching eating and exercise goals, no matter what.
And it goes beyond just benefiting ourselves. When we take this new approach, we model to our children the flexible tactics that busy grown-ups need in order to maintain healthy lifestyles while managing competing parenting demands.
When we accept the idea that something is better than nothing when it comes to healthy eating and exercise, and that even a small imperfect choice is worth it, we liberate ourselves from all-or-nothing thinking and can finally leave our Groundhog Day firmly in the past.
While there wouldn’t have been enough of a story for a good movie, if Phil had made his fundamental change earlier, he wouldn’t have had to wait so long for what he truly wanted. The same is true for you and those you want to help.
Feel free to share this post with others who share your interest in the science-based how-to’s of creating lasting changes that can survive in the real world.
Copyright © Segar, Michelle.