If you lack on-going motivation for exercising and feel like you don’t have time for it, this blog is for you! But in order to understand the steps you need to take to help you, it is important first what is often the true hidden reason women say “I don’t have time to exercise.”
Time is a rare commodity these days. But, do women who are regularly physically active actually have more time than those who aren’t?
Women who are regularly active don’t have more time, but they do create time for exercise. What tends to distinguish the “I don’t have time” women is that they don’t prioritize being physically active. (Caveat: Women living in extreme circumstances such as mom’s with a newborn, women working 2-3 jobs to make ends meat do truly have less leisure time available for an activity such as exercise.)
The real question is why do some women prioritize fitting physical activity into their days and others don’t?
One reason is that the women who prioritize physical activity do so because it constitutes an important aspect of their self-care; it reduces their stress and enhances their sense of well-being. Their daily quality of life is enhanced when they are physically active, and diminished whey they are not – so they are very motivated to fit it in! These women do what I call “want-based” physical activity.
In contrast to that group of women, most of us consider being physically active as a “should”; something that we are “supposed to do” rather than something that feel we need or actually want to do. We don’t consider physical activity as an essential aspect of our self-care. In fact, “should-based” physical activity can feel draining, more like a self-care detractor! Who really has time in their day for another “should”!?
The deeper differentiator between women with “want-based” and “should-based” physical activity isn’t how much time they have, it is how they personally experience being physically active.
The “want-based” women personalize and tailor physical activity to their likes and desires. They do what makes them feel good, what reduces their stress and gives them energy. In general, women who do the “should-based” exercise tend to follow other people’s recommendations, including what the media and/or “experts” say constitutes the RIGHT way to exercise and be fit. But this “should-based” approach doesn’t lend itself to being sustainable nor to being a life-enhancing experience. And there is no RIGHT way to exercise.
The majority of American women fall into the “should-based” category regarding exercise and physical activity – and don’t do it consistently. This is because of the predominant exercise prescription that we have learned from our culture during the past 25 years.
Importantly, I’ve found that “should-based” women can become “want-based” by learning how to tailor physical activity to themselves, their desires/likes, and lives. If you want to transform your relationship with physical activity to be “want-based” you can do the following:
1) Make a conscious decision that you WANT TO start getting the incredible self-care benefits that physical activity brings (improved mood and sleep, etc.);
2) Decide what experiences you want to have from physical activity (Reduced stress? Social time with friends? Etc.)
3) Chose a physical activity that will give you that experience(s). (Reduced stress? Try walking outside in nature; Social experience? Ask a friend or family member to take a walk, or join a gym with you.)
4) Plan it into your day, and give yourself permission to leave whatever you are working on/accomplishing to do your planned physical activity.
5) Evaluate whether the physical activity you chose gave you the experiences you wanted. If it wasn’t a positive experience, try a new type of physical activity, a different teacher, or try a lower intensity, try a different time of day, etc.. (Figuring this out can be a process that may take some experimenting to figure out, but it is worth it.)
6) Decide that enhancing YOU AND YOUR SENSE OF WELL-BEING ARE WORTH spending time on.
7) See a good, short article about developing intrinsic motivation by Jay Kimiecik at http://psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20000101-000021.html.
If you have any feedback, comments, or questions, please add a comment here or email me at michelle@essentialsteps.net.
Wanted to let you know this really resonated with me. As a older, work-at-home mom of a 2-1/2 year old and a 9 month old, I have really been struggling with finding the time to do anything for myself, let alone something that requires effort and makes me sweat! But I’ve found that when I made that effort early in the morning before my day with little people hanging on me starts, I feel SO much better the rest of the day. It mades a huge difference both physically and emotionally – my body feels less stiff and stressed, and my mind knows that I’ve done something that’s good for me. Which in turn is good for the little ones – everybody wins. Anyway, your program sounds awesome, inspiring and sensible. Thanks for putting it out there!
Elaine,
I’m glad to hear that you are aware of how much you, and your little ones, benefit when you take care of yourself. Just remember, on the days that you can’t make it happen let it go without judging youself! Everything in life ebbs and flows, including self care and exercise!